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Cowboys and pioneers, come lend your eyes and ears
I ve got the need to testify
Don t try to fill your nest out in the
Open west
Cuz there s a million ways to die
Six bullets in the gut or just a paper cut
Too many ways to quantify
They ll cut your ankle off to cure a
Minor cough
Cuz there s a million ways to die
A million ways to die
It s a hundred and one in the shade of the sun
If you fall asleep, you fry
A million ways to die
You can live like a saint but there
Just really ain t
No avoiding a million ways to die
Aauuu
Smallpox and bigger pox, and deadly tomahawks
Or God forbid you steal a pie
They ll blast you into shards for bein
Good at cards
Cuz there s a million ways to die
Out on the desert plains it hardly ever rains
And you can hear coyotes cry
They ll eat you up and then they ll
Shit you out again
Cuz there s a million ways to die
A million ways to die
With a whoosh and a whack there s a knife in your back
Cuz you got a fancy tie
A million ways to die
It s a kick in the pants but you don t have a chance
Of escaping a million ways to die
A million ways to die//////////////////
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