[ARCHIBALD] (Spoken)
N.C.
And now it s time for silly songs with Larry
The part of the show
Where Larry comes out and sings a silly son.
Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mister Lunt
Who together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags:
The Pirates Who Don t Do Anything .
[PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY]
We are the pirates who don t do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything
We ll just tell you...
[LARRY]
We don t do anything
[PA GRAPE]
Well, I ve never been to Greenland
And I ve never been to Denver
And I ve never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
And I ve never been to Moscow
And I ve never been to Tampa
And I ve never been to Boston in the fall
[PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY]
We re the pirates who don t do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything
We ll just tell you...
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
We don t do anything!
[MISTER LUNT]
And I ve never hoist the mainstay
And I ve never swabbed the poop deck
And I ve never veer to starboard
Cause I never sail at all
And I ve never walked the gangplank
And I ve never owned a parrot
And I ve never been to Boston in the fall
[PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY]
Cause we re the pirates who don t do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything
We ll just tell you we don t do anything
[LARRY]
Well, I ve never plucked a rooster
And I m not too good at ping pong
And I ve never thrown my mashed potatoes
Up against the wall
And I ve never kissed a chipmunk
And I ve never gotten head lice
And I ve never been to Boston in the fall
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Huh? What are you talking about?
What does a rooster or mashed potatoes
Have to do with being a pirate?
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
Hey, that s right
We re supposed to sing about pirate-y things!
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
And who s ever kissed a chipmunk?
That s just nonsense! Why even bring it up?
Am I right? What do you think?
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken):
N.C.
I think you look like Cap n Crunch.
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Huh? No I don t!
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
Do too!
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Do not!
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
You re making me hungry.
[PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
That s it, you re walking the plank!
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
Says who?
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Says the Cap n, that s who!
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
Oh yeah?
Aye, aye, Cap n Crunch!
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Arrrgh!
[MISTER LUN] (Spoken)
N.C.
Yikes!
[LARRY]
And I ve never licked a spark plug
And I ve never sniffed a stinkbug
And I ve never painted daises
On a big red rubber ball
And I ve never bathed in yogurt
And I don t look good in leggings
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
You just don t get it.
[PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY]
And we ve never been to Boston in the fall!
