Since His Penis Came Between Us

 [Intro]

Em7  D/F#  G

Em7  D/F#  G

G



[Verse 1]

G                  Em7

It was a wonderful world

            D/F#     G

The picture tube was bright

G                    C                G

There was so much to do on a Saturday night

G                     D/F#

Plenty of talk during commercials

               Em7                 Cadd9

Sometimes even popcorn in bed



[Verse 2]

G                    Em7

I've been a model provider

         D/F#     G

You must admit to that

G                  C                          G

A lovely rented bungalow, two terrific little cats

G                         D/F#

Is there something that I might have missed?

                    Em7                 Cadd9

You haven't heard a word I've said



[Chorus]

          G                C

Since his penis    came between us

          G                C            Dsus4    D

Since his penis    came between us



[Break]

Em7  D/F#  G

G

Em7  D/F#  G



[Verse 3]

G                     Em7

I don't mean to seem angry

          D/F#      G

But I'm a bit taken back

G                        C                           G

What did you say his name was?   Oh my god, it's not Jack?

G                            D/F#

That scoundrel's gonna get a talkin' to

                Em7               Cadd9

tomorrow at the coffee machine



[Verse 4]

G                       Em7

It's always someone you know

         D/F#         G

In this case, my best friend

G                       C                                 G

How could he do this to me?  We just played golf last weekend

G                     D/F#

I've got news for Mr. So-and-so

                   Em7             Cadd9

He won't be teeing off with me



[Chorus]

          G                C

Since his penis    came between us

          G                C            Dsus4    D

Since his penis    came between us



[Bridge]

      Em

Let's play a little game:

      G                              G/F#                      C

Is it bigger than a bread-box?    Or shorter than your maiden name?

         C          Cmaj7/B

Is it as high as an elephants eye?

           Am

Is it like mounting some great white steed?

            Cadd9                    Cmaj7

I mean this thing you have for him

      G             D/F#

This, shall we say, need?



[Verse 5]

G                   Em7

Let's turn off the lights, love

    D/F#      G

It's time for bed

G                         C                              G

Oh look, there's Johnny Carson,  If you'd rather watch instead

G                                      D/F#

I'm glad that we could have this little talk

                        Em

Goodnight, and pleasant dreams, my love

Em