Weekend In Amsterdam

Weekend.in.Amsterdam 

 
When.we.got.our.redundancy,.myself.and.the.lads.went.on.the.spree 
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A.brand.new.passport.in.my.hand.as.we.took.off.for.The.Netherland 
 
Myself.and.Dinny.and.O’Dwyer.and.Scut.at.Schiphol.we.were.all.half.cut 
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We.opened.up.the.duty-free,.the.red.lemonade.and.brandy 
 
And.we.jumped.on.board.a.tram 
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O.The.Weekend.that.we.spent.in.Amsterdam 

 
Our.first.stop.was.the.coffee.shop,.in.we.went.and.we.all.sparked.up 
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Hashish.from.Pakistan,.Morocco,.Nepal.and.the.Lebanon 
 
All.the.boys.was.rollin’.joints,.they.forgot.to.drink.their.pints 
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Water.pipe.came.bubblin’.around,.took.one.pull.and.hit.the.ground 
 
Lads.wake.him.if.you.can 
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O.The.Weekend.that.we.spent.in.Amsterdam 

 
Sunday.we.went.to.The.Blarney.Stone,.Paddy.Wynne.had.The.Leinster.Final.on 
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The.Lily.Whites.and.The.Boys.in.Blue,.the.Majors.and.Taytos 
 
Over.to.Mulligan’s.for.the.night,.the.bar.was.leppin‘.and.the.band.was. 
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De.Burgh,.De.Bono.and.De.Wolfe.Tones.‘til.Dinny.grabbed.the.microphone 
 
And.gave.us.Van.The.Man 
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O.The.Weekend.that.we.spent.in.Amsterdam 

 
Macker.sez.while.we’re.here.we’ll.go.and.have.a.look.at.the.kinky.gear 
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I.said.a.quiet.prayer.I.wouldn’t.bump.into.anyone.from.Kildare 
 
Big.,.blow-up.dolls,.snap-on.tools.and.hairy.balls 
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Vibrators,.whips.and.chains,.zips.and.fanny.ticklers 
 
God.between.us.and.all.harm 
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O.The.Weekend.that.we.spent.in.Amsterdam 

 
Then.we.went.for.a.midnight.walk,.all.our.eyes.were.out.on.stalks 
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Gay.bars,.bordellos,.models.in.the.windows.with.no.clothes 
 
Dinny.he.danced.all.night.with.a.South.American.transvestite 
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Everything.was.goin’.grand.until.Dinny.tried.to.drop.the.hand 
 
There.was.pandemonium 
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O.The.Weekend.that.we.spent.an.Amsterdam 

 
The.bouncer.she.was.5.foot.10.Lowland.Heavyweight.Champion 
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She.hit.Dinny.an.awful.box,.the.boys.ran.amok.and.wrecked.the.shop 
 
We.could.hear.the.squad.cars.getting.near,.it’s.time.lads.we.were.out.of.here 
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Dinny.pulled.up.his.tights.and.we.disappeared.into.the.night 
 
All.together.now.one.by.one 
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O.The.Weekend.that.we.spent.in.Amsterdam 


 
Queen.Beatrix.she.rides.her.bike,.Rembrandt.is.hangin’.down.in.The.Rijk 
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Ajax,.Heineken,.Van.Gogh,.The.Gargle.and.The.Ghanja 
 
Monday.morning.we.were.all.half.cracked.we.dived.into.the.Kaisergracht 
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They.fished.us.out,.hosed.us.down.and.put.us.on.the.plane.to.Dublin 
 
Home.to.the.Mammy.again 
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O.The.Weekend.that.we.spent.in.Amsterdam