The Ugliest Man In Town - Dr. Hook
Now handsome guys get girls that are pretty
Other guys get em cos they re clever and witty
But the only love I ever get, I get out of pity
Cos I m the ugliest man in town
I drive down the road in a Rolls Royce car
Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar
But still you know, that won t get you very far
When you re the ugliest man in town
There was a note on the doorstep where I was found
It said this sweet child weighs eleven pounds
So bring him up healthy and wealthy and stout
Keep his back to the light, don t let it turn around
Yeah all you women you re heartless and cold
All you want is my silver and gold
And don t you know that there s a beautiful soul
Inside the ugliest man in town [Boy do I got plans for us]
Yeah I m so ugly I shave in the dark
Kids start to cry when I walk through the park
Clocks stop ticking and dogs start to bark
Whenever I come around
Yeah I walk down the street and the girls all hiss me
If I die tomorrow not one of them would miss me
Only reason they ball me is they can t stand to kiss me
I m the ugliest man in town
Yeah I m the ugliest man in town
[You know a guy as ugly as you man could use a manager. You know what I mean? Just
sign this small piece of paper here man. You can give me a couple of bucks a week,
a couple of free meals man. I ll take you all over the world. We ll go to Japan baby,
they ll love you over there baby. They ll make another monster movie with you hahahaha]