Old Man Duff
Written and recorded by Tex Morton
[Verse]
Old man Duff was doggone tough why they called him dynamite
On the mattress filled with broken glass he rested well each night
He combed his hair with a garden rake and ate his vitals raw
He picked his teeth with a horse shoe nail
And shaved his beard with a saw
[Chorus]
Old man Duff was very rough and tough as a man could be
He ate wire nails and the bones of whales and drank gasoline for tea
[Verse]
Old man Duff had thirteen sons but he beat them all to death
He choked all the cops so dog-gone they died from the lack breath
The sheriff went up to arrest old Duff but he made a big mistake
Old Duff picked him up by the seat of the pants
And threw him out in the lake
[Chorus]
Old man Duff was very rough and tough as a man could be
Had big floppy ears as long as a steers
And his hair hung down to his knees
[Bridge]
I-lee-ol-lee-tee loo-e-do o-lee-loo lee-do-lee-do lee-do lee-do
Lee-do lee-do o-lee-ol-lee-tee O-lee-ol-lee-tee
[Verse]
Old man Duff had a daughter fair but she died a poor old maid
Many a man would ve courted her but they were all afraid
Old Duff once found a fella with her why they heard him rave and shout
He shoved his fist down the poor man s throat and turned him inside out
[Verse]
Old man Duff lived a thousand years then he died and went below
When old satan looked at him he smiled and said hello
Now that fire was mighty hot when the put old Duff in there
But he laid right down and he went to sleep and never singed a hair
[Chorus]
Old man Duff was very rough and tough as a man could be
Had hair on his chest and he wore no vest
And he looked like a chimpanzee