Band: Woodbox Gang
Album: Wormwood
Dot Com Machine
VERSE 1
I turned on the old dot com machine
Found a chat room for horny young teens
Found a little lover she was thirteen
Love blooms on the dot com machine
VERSE 2
I told her I was a handsome young boy
Born and raised in Southern Illinois
I make good grades Iâm on the football team
I poured my heart to the dot com machine
VERSE 3
She was from Australia and likes o flicks
All her past boyfriends were arrogant pricks
She was from the outback so calm and serene
She poured her heart to the dot com machine
VERSE 4
I told her I wanted to meet her somewhere
Iâd fly her out here or Iâd fly out there
She agreed to meet it was like a dream
We poured our hearts to the dot com machine
VERSE 5
I landed in Melbourne nervous and scared
I wondered what she thought when she saw me there
Fat and bald and far from sixteen
A liar and pervert on the dot com machine
VERSE 6
I walked around the airport till I felt stood up
Then I saw a sign saying âSOUTHERN ILLINOIS STUDâ
There was my lover standing there
Sucking a lollipop and twirling her hair
VERSE 7
We laughed and we giggled like horny teens will
Then she took me to a motel to give me my fill
She went in the bathroom to fix her hair
She told me not to go anywhere
VERSE 8
I took off my belt and got my britches undone
From the bathroom came cops and there guns
They put me on the carpet and they put me in the cuffs
They read me my rights and all of that stuff
VERSE 9
They took me to jail and they took me to court
My name was slandered in all the reports
The thirteen year old I was aiming to pop
A twenty five year old undercover cop